https://drsircus.com/spiritual-psychology/desire-expectations/
The heart makes no demands on the universe. It is our little selfish arrogant selves that are expecting the universe to dance to our tune. But the secret to life is not to banish all desire and expectation. It is to not be attached to them so that we can listen to what life is trying to say. Deep down much of our desires and expectations come from the need for something to happen to make life more interesting! We feel empty and want to feel full and want something outside of us to happen to stimulate us.
In human terms as we develop ourselves it is useful to begin to be able to ask ourselves,
Check out your favorite Colour: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color.html
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SelfCare:
8 Things to Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End with grateful acknowledgement of the expertise of Paula Spencer Scott, Caring com author
last updated: 29 October, 2009 her expertise is much valued in this field.
Caregiver stress has no shortage of causes. But sometimes you hit a tipping point: On top of everything else, you get the flu. You get into an argument with a sibling or an insurance company rep. Or there's a new diagnosis (on top of the two or three other chronic conditions you're helping a loved one manage). And there you are, seriously wondering if it's possible for a human head to explode. Rest assured, it can't!
Try these eight ways to buy yourself time to regain a little sanity:
1. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
"Keep breathing," a yoga therapist friend always urges me when I get to that mush-on-the-floor point. The slower and deeper the breaths, the better.
Tracy Gaudet, the physician who directs Duke Integrative Medicine, taught me a handy force-yourself-to-slow-down breathing pattern that she learned from her former mentor Andrew Weil:
4/7/8 Breathing (Paced Breathing)
· Rest the tip of your tongue on the ridge behind your front teeth throughout the exercise.
· Breathe in through your nose for a count of four.
· Hold for a count of seven.
· Exhale through the mouth for a count of eight. With your tongue in the same position as in step 1, you should hear a hoosh sound as the air goes out. Repeat at least four times (and as often as you like).
The Calm
The Calm Breathing Room starts at a calming pace of five breaths per minute for one minute and then slows you down even more into a breathing rate that relaxes you and allows you to sink into a state of calmness and relaxation, which releases stress and allows your body, mind and soul to experience peace.
http://www.doasone.com/BreathingRooms.aspx?RoomID=2
2. Decide not to decide.
"Should I do x or y?" When you're superstressed, even the simplest decisions can overwhelm you. Deciding might relieve some uncertainty, but sometimes you just can't get there right away. What's important is to know that's okay.
Better: Walk away from the decision. Put it off for today, if that's possible. Even if the decision feels urgent, you almost always have an hour to take a time out. Don't think about the pressing choice. Distract yourself, sit with yourself, do anything but dwell. Sometimes giving yourself the gift of a little distance is all the breathing room you needed.
3. Make yourself a cup of tea :-)
Okay, so this is my solution to all stressors, great and small. The great thing about tea – aside from that the fact that it's warm and soothing, has no calories, and delivers antioxidants (in white and green forms, especially) -- is that you have to sip it sloooowly. Taking things Slowly is key when you're stressed. Better in a nice teacup. Best brewed with whole leaves in a lovely pot.
Don't like tea? Are you sure? There are so many choices! When I'm in the dumps, I'll wander to the tea aisle of the local grocery and treat myself to one picked solely on its promising flavor or intriguing name.
4. Reach out to all your Caring Friends and Neighbours.
Whether you have 3 or 10, put them to work for you. Ask them to send you one hug, one upbeat saying or funny joke, one reason you should keep breathing for another 24 hours.... That's what they're there for. And your friends, especially, will be happier to do something productive -- like bucking you up –
5. Make a doctor appointment – for You.
You're probably the one hauling everybody else to the doctor all the time. When's the last time you went?
· If you're sick, you need to do everything in your power to get better.
· If you're simply stressed, then you're at risk for getting sick, and a check-up can assess that risk and maybe boost your commitment to self care. (You're also likely to get some specific pointers on that.)
· If you're super-duper stressed, ask for a referral to a therapist. Every person in an intense caregiving role can benefit from that.
6. Get some fresh air.
Unless you're sick, nothing revives you more in less time than a change of scenery to the great outdoors. Could be a big walk in a scenic location or a shuffle in crunchy leaves around your backyard.
Being outside is a proven stress reliever. Exercise is a proven stress reliever. Shifting yourself to a fresh location is a proven stress reliever. Put them all together.
7. One word: Chocolate!
My fallback caregivers' stress solution is neither innovative nor medically sound. But hey, it works. Not every hour of every day, but when things are so dire you've been pushed to wit's end, you deserve a little chocolate. This is obviously what the dark chocolate has been invented for.
Since I don't recommend chocolate 24/7, however, for the rest of the day, there's chocolate in tea form: Sip a cup while you're sitting outside and reading ... , right after you make a doctor appointment. And then maybe have a bite of dark chocolate :-)
8. And don't forget the "Coffee Nap"...
Drink a cup of caffeinated coffee, then take a 15-minute nap immediately after. It sounds backward, but research shows that this particular combination makes you feel more alert and recharged than if you just drank the coffee, or just napped for 15 to 30 minutes. Called a "caffeine nap," it gives you the refreshing effects of sleep plus a jolt of caffeine, which kicks in just as you're waking up.
Attention could be described as a spotlight that focuses an individual's awareness on a particular facet of their environment, or on the thoughts in their head. The ability to pay attention to important things—and to ignore the rest—likely helped early humans survive and evolve. Now, it’s a skill that can help children and adults alike succeed in school, at work, and in their relationships.
Some people—particularly those with ADHD or other mental health concerns—regularly struggle to pay attention when it matters, while others naturally have more control over their “spotlight.” For most people, the ability to pay attention varies in certain situations—for instance, when they're able to work in a distraction-free environment—or with the aid of certain drugs such as caffeine, Ritalin, or other stimulants.
Spending at least 120 minutes a week in nature is associated with good health and wellbeing
A growing body of epidemiological evidence indicates that greater exposure to, or ‘contact with’, natural environments (such as parks, woodlands and beaches) is associated with better health and well-being, at least among populations in high income, largely urbanised, societies. While the quantity and quality of evidence varies across outcomes, living in greener urban areas is associated with lower probabilities of cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, asthma hospitalisation, mental distress, and ultimately mortality, among adults; and lower risks of obesity and myopia in children. Greater quantities of neighbourhood nature are also associated with better self-reported health, and subjective well-being in adults, and improved birth outcomes, and cognitive development, in children.
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44097-3#ref-CR2
SO, just Walk: https://www.healthline.com/health/walking-meditation
19 July 2020
The heart makes no demands on the universe. It is our little selfish arrogant selves that are expecting the universe to dance to our tune. But the secret to life is not to banish all desire and expectation. It is to not be attached to them so that we can listen to what life is trying to say. Deep down much of our desires and expectations come from the need for something to happen to make life more interesting! We feel empty and want to feel full and want something outside of us to happen to stimulate us.
In human terms as we develop ourselves it is useful to begin to be able to ask ourselves,
- “Do we really need what we want?” What we need and what we want are not always the same. If we can desire only what we truly need then we will be in good shape. A person who has worked on themselves and has developed their nature both psychologically and spiritually show a type of detachment to getting what they want. They are plenty happy just getting their needs fulfilled and after all we really don’t need that much. Just having air to breathe and the earth to walk on is already a lot.
- The heart makes no demands in the sense of desire and expectation, it lets things unfold more magically. The heart has the intelligence not to limit the universe so much with demands and expectations. The heart can surrender, it knows when to say “Ok universe, whenever……in God’s good time.” Expectations create an impatience with life. We let go and let what is supposed to come meet us. But this in no way indicates any laziness on the hearts part. Surrender has nothing to do with passivity.
Check out your favorite Colour: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color.html
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SelfCare:
8 Things to Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End with grateful acknowledgement of the expertise of Paula Spencer Scott, Caring com author
last updated: 29 October, 2009 her expertise is much valued in this field.
Caregiver stress has no shortage of causes. But sometimes you hit a tipping point: On top of everything else, you get the flu. You get into an argument with a sibling or an insurance company rep. Or there's a new diagnosis (on top of the two or three other chronic conditions you're helping a loved one manage). And there you are, seriously wondering if it's possible for a human head to explode. Rest assured, it can't!
Try these eight ways to buy yourself time to regain a little sanity:
1. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
"Keep breathing," a yoga therapist friend always urges me when I get to that mush-on-the-floor point. The slower and deeper the breaths, the better.
Tracy Gaudet, the physician who directs Duke Integrative Medicine, taught me a handy force-yourself-to-slow-down breathing pattern that she learned from her former mentor Andrew Weil:
4/7/8 Breathing (Paced Breathing)
· Rest the tip of your tongue on the ridge behind your front teeth throughout the exercise.
· Breathe in through your nose for a count of four.
· Hold for a count of seven.
· Exhale through the mouth for a count of eight. With your tongue in the same position as in step 1, you should hear a hoosh sound as the air goes out. Repeat at least four times (and as often as you like).
The Calm
The Calm Breathing Room starts at a calming pace of five breaths per minute for one minute and then slows you down even more into a breathing rate that relaxes you and allows you to sink into a state of calmness and relaxation, which releases stress and allows your body, mind and soul to experience peace.
http://www.doasone.com/BreathingRooms.aspx?RoomID=2
2. Decide not to decide.
"Should I do x or y?" When you're superstressed, even the simplest decisions can overwhelm you. Deciding might relieve some uncertainty, but sometimes you just can't get there right away. What's important is to know that's okay.
Better: Walk away from the decision. Put it off for today, if that's possible. Even if the decision feels urgent, you almost always have an hour to take a time out. Don't think about the pressing choice. Distract yourself, sit with yourself, do anything but dwell. Sometimes giving yourself the gift of a little distance is all the breathing room you needed.
3. Make yourself a cup of tea :-)
Okay, so this is my solution to all stressors, great and small. The great thing about tea – aside from that the fact that it's warm and soothing, has no calories, and delivers antioxidants (in white and green forms, especially) -- is that you have to sip it sloooowly. Taking things Slowly is key when you're stressed. Better in a nice teacup. Best brewed with whole leaves in a lovely pot.
Don't like tea? Are you sure? There are so many choices! When I'm in the dumps, I'll wander to the tea aisle of the local grocery and treat myself to one picked solely on its promising flavor or intriguing name.
4. Reach out to all your Caring Friends and Neighbours.
Whether you have 3 or 10, put them to work for you. Ask them to send you one hug, one upbeat saying or funny joke, one reason you should keep breathing for another 24 hours.... That's what they're there for. And your friends, especially, will be happier to do something productive -- like bucking you up –
5. Make a doctor appointment – for You.
You're probably the one hauling everybody else to the doctor all the time. When's the last time you went?
· If you're sick, you need to do everything in your power to get better.
· If you're simply stressed, then you're at risk for getting sick, and a check-up can assess that risk and maybe boost your commitment to self care. (You're also likely to get some specific pointers on that.)
· If you're super-duper stressed, ask for a referral to a therapist. Every person in an intense caregiving role can benefit from that.
6. Get some fresh air.
Unless you're sick, nothing revives you more in less time than a change of scenery to the great outdoors. Could be a big walk in a scenic location or a shuffle in crunchy leaves around your backyard.
Being outside is a proven stress reliever. Exercise is a proven stress reliever. Shifting yourself to a fresh location is a proven stress reliever. Put them all together.
7. One word: Chocolate!
My fallback caregivers' stress solution is neither innovative nor medically sound. But hey, it works. Not every hour of every day, but when things are so dire you've been pushed to wit's end, you deserve a little chocolate. This is obviously what the dark chocolate has been invented for.
Since I don't recommend chocolate 24/7, however, for the rest of the day, there's chocolate in tea form: Sip a cup while you're sitting outside and reading ... , right after you make a doctor appointment. And then maybe have a bite of dark chocolate :-)
8. And don't forget the "Coffee Nap"...
Drink a cup of caffeinated coffee, then take a 15-minute nap immediately after. It sounds backward, but research shows that this particular combination makes you feel more alert and recharged than if you just drank the coffee, or just napped for 15 to 30 minutes. Called a "caffeine nap," it gives you the refreshing effects of sleep plus a jolt of caffeine, which kicks in just as you're waking up.
Attention could be described as a spotlight that focuses an individual's awareness on a particular facet of their environment, or on the thoughts in their head. The ability to pay attention to important things—and to ignore the rest—likely helped early humans survive and evolve. Now, it’s a skill that can help children and adults alike succeed in school, at work, and in their relationships.
Some people—particularly those with ADHD or other mental health concerns—regularly struggle to pay attention when it matters, while others naturally have more control over their “spotlight.” For most people, the ability to pay attention varies in certain situations—for instance, when they're able to work in a distraction-free environment—or with the aid of certain drugs such as caffeine, Ritalin, or other stimulants.
Spending at least 120 minutes a week in nature is associated with good health and wellbeing
A growing body of epidemiological evidence indicates that greater exposure to, or ‘contact with’, natural environments (such as parks, woodlands and beaches) is associated with better health and well-being, at least among populations in high income, largely urbanised, societies. While the quantity and quality of evidence varies across outcomes, living in greener urban areas is associated with lower probabilities of cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, asthma hospitalisation, mental distress, and ultimately mortality, among adults; and lower risks of obesity and myopia in children. Greater quantities of neighbourhood nature are also associated with better self-reported health, and subjective well-being in adults, and improved birth outcomes, and cognitive development, in children.
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44097-3#ref-CR2
SO, just Walk: https://www.healthline.com/health/walking-meditation
19 July 2020