Signs of YOUR burnout
Looking After Yourself too
As a carer you may feel tired much of the time with less energy than usual.
You may find that you don’t function as well from the demands of caring for someone. Your diet may be poor or inadequate and you may not be getting much exercise. You are also likely to be getting less sleep, particularly if you are caring for your spouse. Spouses can spend up to 100 hours or more caring each week.
You may not get out of the house as frequently as you used to. Your friends may not visit as regularly. All of this may mean that you feel isolated. You may have less time to look after yourself.
Living with a person, particularly one who has dementia, and trying to make sense of the task IS Stressful! While the partners, parents or other caretakers struggle to provide the best care that they can, it is not unusual that they neglect their own needs and could eventually be burnt out.
Often it is a feeling of guilt, which does not “allow” the caregivers to take care of themselves.
What did I do wrong?
How could I compensate my loved one for the losses?
How can I make him suffer less? How can I make his/her life easier?
How can I make him/her happier?
It is important for caregivers to be aware of the presence of these questions in the back of their minds. They endure the caregivers’ distress and increase the level of the on-going stress.
In attempting to do their best, the caretakers often put their own interests on the back burner, putting the “interests” of the suffering loved one as more important, more urgent. In doing so, the caretakers unavoidably reach the point, when their own resources get exhausted, which could put at risk not only the care which they provide, but also their own health.
Statistically, burn-out happens in about 40% of the general population, and its rate is much higher among those providing care to mentally ill members of their families. Modern studies on burn-out show that day-to-day stress, even when the person subjected to it does not consider it as such, causes the most detrimental effects to health. The resistance of the immune system becomes very low, and that could manifest itself in the form of frequent colds, or even more serious conditions. The caregivers often develop chronic medical problems, such as frequent infections and difficulty sleeping. A significant number of caregivers suffer from depression.
A lot of caregivers are working and providing care at the same time. Instead of being a place of rest and recuperation, their home environment becomes a place of an on-going second job. In such situations, it is easy to forget to eat properly, or to take a day, an evening, or even an hour off.
A Day in the Life of a Caregiver - shows it how it is...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs_7jWqSeIM
Here is a list of the most frequent signs of burn-out, which almost always accompany each other.
• You feel tired most of the time
• You have problems going to sleep even when you feel exhausted
• You don’t get up fresh and rested in the morning after a night’s sleep
• You feel low or depressed most of the time
• You feel easily irritated and annoyed
• You think that people don’t like you
• Your self-esteem is getting low
• You are always running out of time, never accomplishing all that you had planned
• You become forgetful and miss important appointments
• You always find reasons not to attend an exposition, a theatre performance, a movie.
http://mhr4c.com.au/about-this-program/six_phases/
The Six Phases of Caring represent the typical phases of a carer’s journey.
The phases provide a general guide to the issues you may face, and the information and supports available to you at different points on your carer journey. The time you spend in each phase will vary, and you may cycle between the phases. You may even re-enter different phases several times.
What could be done to prevent the burn-out?
You need to set very clear limits for both yourself and your loved one. In doing so, you will promote a higher autonomy of the person you care for and allow yourself to be much more in control of your own time.
You have to become conscious of the feelings of guilt behind your actions and not let these feelings intervene with your setting boundaries. This is a difficult task, but it is rewarding. It will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-esteem.
You need to take regular walks and get engaged into some regular exercise (YMCA, yoga classes, gym, jogging, or even just morning exercise). This will give you some time for yourself, allowing you to have a neutral space, where you don’t need to continually be focused on the problems you have. It will also gradually improve your health.
You need to become engaged in an activity that corresponds to your interests: go see a movie, visit an exhibition, go to a concert, etc. Make a habit of scheduling your activities, booking the tickets, etc. This variation from work and home will enrich your life and bring on other perspectives.
Join a self-help group, request respite services at your community health care organization. You have to meet with other people more often, to communicate on a neutral ground. It will allow others to share their experiences with you; it will give you additional support, and raise your self-esteem.
If you have a life partner, allow yourself some time together, share your worries with each other and provide support to each other. It is very important to feel that you are not left alone to cope with the progressing illness of your loved one.
It is also good to see other couples, friends, and relatives, and speak to them openly about dementia. It creates a more accepting environment around you, and allows you not to feel excluded from normal human communication.
Balancing your own needs with those of your loved one is a difficult and constant struggle. Nevertheless if you take the steps to prevent your own burn-out, it will allow you to take better care of your relative. It will also teach him (her) alternative behaviours, and allow him (her) to rely more on himself (herself).
By : Olga Lipadatova, counselor
Further reading to a greater in-depth Understanding of the illness of your loved one. A definite eye-opener! "Should be read by anyone who has suffered, or known someone who has suffered from depression."
"Reasons to Stay Alive" by Matt Haig, Canongate Books Ltd 2015. ANF 158 HAI
and don't forget the Coffee!!!
Take a "caffeine nap."
Drink a cup of caffeinated coffee, then take a 15-minute nap immediately after. It sounds backward, but research shows that this particular combination makes you feel more alert and recharged than if you just drank the coffee, or just napped for 15 to 30 minutes. Called a "caffeine nap," it gives you the refreshing effects of sleep plus a jolt of caffeine, which kicks in just as you're waking up.
----------------------------------------------------
Many elderly adults are abused in their own homes, in relatives’ homes, and even in facilities responsible for their care. If you suspect that an elderly person is at risk from a neglectful or overwhelmed caregiver, or being preyed upon financially, it’s important to speak up. Learn about the warning signs of elder abuse, what the risk factors are, and how you can prevent and report the problem.
The hidden pain of Emotional elder abuse:
In emotional or psychological abuse, people speak to or treat elderly persons in ways that cause emotional pain or distress, including:
Abuse of elders takes many different forms, some involving intimidation or threats against the elderly, some involving neglect, and others involving financial trickery. The most common are defined here.
Definition: "Elder Abuse is a single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust which causes harm or distress to an older person”
The Elder Abuse Prevention Unit is funded by the Queensland Government and auspiced by UnitingCare Community.
Looking After Yourself too
As a carer you may feel tired much of the time with less energy than usual.
You may find that you don’t function as well from the demands of caring for someone. Your diet may be poor or inadequate and you may not be getting much exercise. You are also likely to be getting less sleep, particularly if you are caring for your spouse. Spouses can spend up to 100 hours or more caring each week.
You may not get out of the house as frequently as you used to. Your friends may not visit as regularly. All of this may mean that you feel isolated. You may have less time to look after yourself.
Living with a person, particularly one who has dementia, and trying to make sense of the task IS Stressful! While the partners, parents or other caretakers struggle to provide the best care that they can, it is not unusual that they neglect their own needs and could eventually be burnt out.
Often it is a feeling of guilt, which does not “allow” the caregivers to take care of themselves.
What did I do wrong?
How could I compensate my loved one for the losses?
How can I make him suffer less? How can I make his/her life easier?
How can I make him/her happier?
It is important for caregivers to be aware of the presence of these questions in the back of their minds. They endure the caregivers’ distress and increase the level of the on-going stress.
In attempting to do their best, the caretakers often put their own interests on the back burner, putting the “interests” of the suffering loved one as more important, more urgent. In doing so, the caretakers unavoidably reach the point, when their own resources get exhausted, which could put at risk not only the care which they provide, but also their own health.
Statistically, burn-out happens in about 40% of the general population, and its rate is much higher among those providing care to mentally ill members of their families. Modern studies on burn-out show that day-to-day stress, even when the person subjected to it does not consider it as such, causes the most detrimental effects to health. The resistance of the immune system becomes very low, and that could manifest itself in the form of frequent colds, or even more serious conditions. The caregivers often develop chronic medical problems, such as frequent infections and difficulty sleeping. A significant number of caregivers suffer from depression.
A lot of caregivers are working and providing care at the same time. Instead of being a place of rest and recuperation, their home environment becomes a place of an on-going second job. In such situations, it is easy to forget to eat properly, or to take a day, an evening, or even an hour off.
A Day in the Life of a Caregiver - shows it how it is...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs_7jWqSeIM
Here is a list of the most frequent signs of burn-out, which almost always accompany each other.
• You feel tired most of the time
• You have problems going to sleep even when you feel exhausted
• You don’t get up fresh and rested in the morning after a night’s sleep
• You feel low or depressed most of the time
• You feel easily irritated and annoyed
• You think that people don’t like you
• Your self-esteem is getting low
• You are always running out of time, never accomplishing all that you had planned
• You become forgetful and miss important appointments
• You always find reasons not to attend an exposition, a theatre performance, a movie.
http://mhr4c.com.au/about-this-program/six_phases/
The Six Phases of Caring represent the typical phases of a carer’s journey.
The phases provide a general guide to the issues you may face, and the information and supports available to you at different points on your carer journey. The time you spend in each phase will vary, and you may cycle between the phases. You may even re-enter different phases several times.
What could be done to prevent the burn-out?
You need to set very clear limits for both yourself and your loved one. In doing so, you will promote a higher autonomy of the person you care for and allow yourself to be much more in control of your own time.
You have to become conscious of the feelings of guilt behind your actions and not let these feelings intervene with your setting boundaries. This is a difficult task, but it is rewarding. It will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-esteem.
You need to take regular walks and get engaged into some regular exercise (YMCA, yoga classes, gym, jogging, or even just morning exercise). This will give you some time for yourself, allowing you to have a neutral space, where you don’t need to continually be focused on the problems you have. It will also gradually improve your health.
You need to become engaged in an activity that corresponds to your interests: go see a movie, visit an exhibition, go to a concert, etc. Make a habit of scheduling your activities, booking the tickets, etc. This variation from work and home will enrich your life and bring on other perspectives.
Join a self-help group, request respite services at your community health care organization. You have to meet with other people more often, to communicate on a neutral ground. It will allow others to share their experiences with you; it will give you additional support, and raise your self-esteem.
If you have a life partner, allow yourself some time together, share your worries with each other and provide support to each other. It is very important to feel that you are not left alone to cope with the progressing illness of your loved one.
It is also good to see other couples, friends, and relatives, and speak to them openly about dementia. It creates a more accepting environment around you, and allows you not to feel excluded from normal human communication.
Balancing your own needs with those of your loved one is a difficult and constant struggle. Nevertheless if you take the steps to prevent your own burn-out, it will allow you to take better care of your relative. It will also teach him (her) alternative behaviours, and allow him (her) to rely more on himself (herself).
By : Olga Lipadatova, counselor
Further reading to a greater in-depth Understanding of the illness of your loved one. A definite eye-opener! "Should be read by anyone who has suffered, or known someone who has suffered from depression."
"Reasons to Stay Alive" by Matt Haig, Canongate Books Ltd 2015. ANF 158 HAI
and don't forget the Coffee!!!
Take a "caffeine nap."
Drink a cup of caffeinated coffee, then take a 15-minute nap immediately after. It sounds backward, but research shows that this particular combination makes you feel more alert and recharged than if you just drank the coffee, or just napped for 15 to 30 minutes. Called a "caffeine nap," it gives you the refreshing effects of sleep plus a jolt of caffeine, which kicks in just as you're waking up.
----------------------------------------------------
Many elderly adults are abused in their own homes, in relatives’ homes, and even in facilities responsible for their care. If you suspect that an elderly person is at risk from a neglectful or overwhelmed caregiver, or being preyed upon financially, it’s important to speak up. Learn about the warning signs of elder abuse, what the risk factors are, and how you can prevent and report the problem.
The hidden pain of Emotional elder abuse:
In emotional or psychological abuse, people speak to or treat elderly persons in ways that cause emotional pain or distress, including:
- Intimidation through yelling or threats
- Humiliation and ridicule
- Habitual blaming or scapegoating
- Ignoring the elderly person
- Isolating an elder from friends or activities
- Terrorizing or menacing the elderly person
Abuse of elders takes many different forms, some involving intimidation or threats against the elderly, some involving neglect, and others involving financial trickery. The most common are defined here.
- Australia: 1300 651 192 (Elder Abuse Prevention Unit).
- https://www.eapu.com.au/
Definition: "Elder Abuse is a single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust which causes harm or distress to an older person”
The Elder Abuse Prevention Unit is funded by the Queensland Government and auspiced by UnitingCare Community.